Friday, March 12, 2010

Enemas of The State! Douche Edition PG-13

Wondering if you're wondering the same?

Douche
Feminine hygiene product or insult?

Douche usually refers to vaginal irrigation, the rinsing of the vagina, but it can also refer to the rinsing of any body cavity. A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching—a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina,
the same bag must not be used for a vaginal douche and an enema.<--(useless information)

I promise this post is not R-rated : )

Does anyone else think it is a little ridiculous that out of ANY other word in the English language that could be chosen to call someone not including the many other words already designated, that some one thought it would be super cool to use douche or douche bag as an insult? I shudder at the thought of the actual meaning. Scenario example of the birth of the derogatory word, "Douche" :

In the year 1614 A.D.

Tom: *crunch*crunch*crunch* (eating secret forbidden chips)
Fred: *Sniffedy Sniffaroo* "What's that familiar smell? Smells like forbidden chips!" (Fred's on to something!).
Tom: (moves to closet to enhance sneakiness) *crunchy*crucharoo*
Fred: (finds a trail of secret forbidden chips, opens closet door)
Tom: (recoils to the back of the closet, bares teeth and snarls while shoving as many of the chips in his mouth as he can at incredible speed.)
Fred: "What art thou doing eating forbidden chips Tom?". " Why you stupid vaginal irrigation contraption! You peice of equipment holding fluid that cleans body cavities!". "You'll pay for this, youuuuuuuuu!." Fred picks up Tom. Lifts Tom over his head and throws Tom down a really fast and steep water slide and skaaaadouucche. INSTANT ENEMA IN ACTION!

Thus the douche was born. And the need to call an idiot a douche was born.
It all leads back to the forbidden chips. DON'T EAT THE CHIPS!

This post is given the "Most rediculous post because it's writer is uber-happy-sleep-typing-and-I'm-hungry-now-but-can't-stop-thinking-of-the-bidet-in-my-dad's-bathroom-that-I-thought-was-a-fountain" award.

BUT WAIT! There's more, I made this:


With all of the love that my heart contains,
The Lady Girl

P.S. I now give this post to my brother that doesn't have an alias yet because I can't think of anything cute enough, he's the not Chubsy one. His birthday is on Sunday (14th) and I didn't get him anything, not even a card, just a post about douches. He'll love it, I just know it!


2 comments:

  1. Wow Val... that was quite an interesting post. Gives new meaning the work Douche... or does it? ;o)

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