Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Ex

I was Godzilla once. I was mad and crazy and I crushed tiny villages. Well, the tiny village was my ex-boyfriends bedroom. Hmm, I should probably give Ex-Boyfriend a name. How about Ted Bundy? Okay, he wasn't creepy like that. We shall call him....(wow I can only think of explicit words). Ralph? as in "please hold my hair while I ralph in the toilet". Ralph it is.

Okay, Ralph was my high school sweetheart. We met at the end of junior year. I then moved back home to North Carolina and we did a whole year long distance until I moved back to Utah.
Well right before I moved back to Utah I met this return missionary. Months before, he (we shall call him Harry) came home, his family told me that he would be so into me, and we would hit it off and get married. I was SO his type. I took what they said with a grain of salt. I thought they were full of themselves, after all, he was a country boy, I was punk and dating Ralph long distance.

Harry finally got home and we really did hit it off.
We canoed, we horse back rode, we went wake-boarding and went to the Lynard Skynard Reunion concert together. He even kissed me, kind of, for a second I thought a chicken had attacked me.

The day finally came when all of the fun ended, Harry drove me to the airport, I said my goodbyes to the family and off to Utah I went.

My welcome back to Utah wasn't very warm. After my fling with Harry, I couldn't help but feel resentment for being with Ralph. Although it clearly wasn't his fault, I had met someone else. After being back a week, I told Ralph that we should take a break. That after all of that time being apart, I just wasn't sure of things.

I also received a phone call from Harry. He said that after I just left so quickly out of his life, he had to see if something was there. He was already in Tennessee, driving his way out to Utah.

Harry arrived. I had, what was then "the time of my life". It was short and sweet, and I found out how horrible of a kisser he was, but hey, I could look past that (he was a fresh R.M. and I was his first make-out since being home, give him a break)...our chemistry together was undeniable.

After Harry left, Ralph showed up on my doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. He had his fling (kissed another girl) and wanted me back, I was bored so I agreed. Okay. I must say I wasn't that HORRIBLY bored. I really felt obligated to be with Ralph, like I owed him something because he waited a year for me, and we did love each other. I needed to make things work, but I also didn't want to lose touch with Harry.

Well, mine and Harry's phone calls died down. Ralph found out about Harry, Ralph was PISSED! Needless to say things went down hill with Ralph after that.

During the last few months of our relationship during a time I like to call Hell, after we had broken up maybe 5 times a week, it was finally over. Oh yeah and after I basically destroyed his room taking everything I ever gave him and crushed it like the Hulk. I took the t-shirts I had gotten him and ripped them in half. I kid you not! I saw a side of myself that I never knew existed and I was ashamed that he had brought that out of me.
I was sick of the blaming, the one-sided relationship. He acted like, because of my fling with Harry, I had to earn his trust back as if I cheated on him! Sorry, but we were on a break and his little bird lips weren't very innocent then either. I spent many Sundays crying to my church bishop, who was like a father to me, about what was going on. He strongly urged me to end the relationship, but I couldn't, not yet.

Honestly, if I would have known how happy I would be when it was over, I would have done it sooner. It drove me crazy, and a relationship that brings out the worst traits in you is not healthy! The person you are with should bring out all of your good qualities, in my opinion.

After I broke up with Ralph, I started dating my now husband, who has luckily never seen my Godzilla side.

Harry is also married to an amazing woman. I couldn't imagine any girl more perfect for Harry. They also have a darling little girl. I'm glad Harry and I are still friends. I looked up to him back then. He showed me what it was like to be with an R.M. I deserved a young man who held church standards and could teach the gospel. Being a convert, that is important to me. I got Justin.

As far as I know, after Ralph and I broke up he started smoking, drinking, went to a strip club, got tattoos and piercings, fell away from the church and started dating girls that were way too young for him. The last few times that I have heard from Ralph were just drunken phone calls at 2 in the morning, well into a year after Justin and I had started dating. It's been two years, and I really don't know or care what he's up to now. But one thing is for sure..........

I dodged a bullet with that one ladies and gents!


  1. Dodged a bullet, indeed. Ugh Ralph was a loser, he drove me crazy! Justin is in a completely different (better) field. I'm glad things worked out so well for you!

  2. Yeah, who needs Ralph! Justin is amazingly great for you and you are awesome for him! Glad you got the good one in all of that!


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