Friday, July 30, 2010

Prayer Rant

When we have family prayer it always makes the vibes good! So why are we so lazy and skip it all the time? For me, praying is like a confrontation with the man up stairs because I'm a sinner, and He is perfect, and I feel judged. However, I do accept that it's my fault that I feel this way. I know He is a loving person who understands me, but I keep messing up, and that's what makes it harder to keep coming back and admitting it. That's usually when I stop praying. But I must say, it is very humbling to come to Him when I feel at my lowest. Being humble means accepting that you can't do things on your own and ask for help. It's so cliche of me to think that I can do things on my own without shooting a prayer up to Heavenly Father. So many people fall into this stubborn pattern. I kick myself for biting on to that hook.

When I first joined the LDS (mormon) Church I had a spot free spirit. I tried so hard and stayed determined to keep from sinning. I was naive. I now have many spots, and a few holes that I'm trying to fill up. I don't feel quite my self a lot of the time. I'm not on top of the world like the freshly baptised teen I once was. It's more of a challenge to be valiant than I thought it would be.

Ladies and Gents. If you stop praying, things just go in this slow, down hill spiral. It's time for me to swallow this pride and get my butt in gear. I have been thinking a lot about how much time I have left on this Earth and if I'm ready to be in the presence of my perfect Father. The answer is no and I am done procrastinating it.

It's really true what they say, people in the latter days face more spiritual hardships than the earlier pioneers did. They sent the most valiant saints in the pioneer days because we couldn't handle all of the physical pain that was thrown at the pioneers. However, it would have been much harder for them to live in these times. I keep thinking I should have signed up for the roller coaster ride to the Mid evil times, I would be a princess in Scotland I'm sure....probably dieing from leprosy, cholera, bubonic plague or typhoid...not cancer, diabetes, myocardial infarction (cool name for heart attack) or some other futuristic year 2010 ailment.

Anyhoozles, hurray for not blogging in over a month. It felt great!