Saturday, February 27, 2010

Volume One of Valen Hood

I don't mean this lightly when I say I will get what I deserve. What I mean when I say this is the day will come when the world will tremble, the sky will darken and the rivers will flood when I bare my very own Valen reincarnate.

You may think it doesn't sound so bad, however, only my mother knows how bad I could make the Earth shake. Let me elaborate.

We will start with preschool.

I like to think of myself as a little girl version of Robin Hood, rather, Valen Hood, "Steal from the rich and give to the poor". I knew a rich snotty girl when she crossed my path. I met the first of its species while coloring next to Miss Goody-two-shoes at my first day of preschool. Her picture was VERY pretty and I was rather envious. Her tree's were very round and fluffy and the sky very colorful. It was so pretty that it almost pained me to see it sitting next to my ugly scribbles. No, it didn't almost pain me, it did pain me. I hated that stupid picture and I hated her instantly and her glorious talent. So much so, that as soon as she turned her back I put my scribbles on every inch of her drawing. Ohhhh it felt sooo good. That was until she started screaming and crying. Oh great, what a drama queen. Moments later I was sent to the the naughty stool in the corner where all of the kids in my preschool class crowded around me, pointed their fingers and like a chorus of motorcycles speeding off and changing gears into the distance "ooohhhh ooohhh ooooh", they oo'd at me. HOW REDICULOUS is that? I just did them a favor by crushing miss Goody-two-shoe's self esteem and all I get is their mockery, their "ooo oooing"!

This meant war.

The last encounter I remember with Goody-two-shoes, was the time she snatched and ran with my chocolate chip cookie as I was about to shovel it into my mouth. No one steals cookies from me! She payed for it after I chased her down and bit the ever living crap out of her shoulder. She had to go to the hospital to get stitches, and it was back to the naughty stool and the oo-ooing for me.

That's fine. I could suffer like Braveheart. Valen Hood shows no mercy!

This is only a small pinch of an example of how merciless I could be.

The L.G.

* I dedicate this post to my favorite big blue monster. Yes I'm talking about you Cookie Monster.
You were always my favorite on Sesame Street. I am glad we can share our affinity for cookies together : ) You would have bit her too.

Also I just wanted to say that I appreciate all of the comments that you guys leave. I read each and every one of them, and it makes me happy to get your feedback and thoughts!
A lot of you I know in my personal life, and some are blog buddies, some strictly beloved blog stalkers (which I welcome).
Either way, I love you all the same in this blogging community.

I have now opened up comments for anyone, not just bloggers. In fact I didn't even know I had it set to limiting who could and couldn't comment.

Oh jeez, I can see my brother Chubsy leaving gross, perverted comments already.

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