Thursday, April 1, 2010

Life as I know it.

Life sucks sometimes. Like when the house stinks of poop covered in rotten milk covered in fish guts covered in burnt plastic covered in YOU NAME IT!

Or when we haven't anymore plastic silverware to eat food b/c we won't do dishes and we have used up all plastic resources and China goes bankrupt because of it.

It sucks when I don't have clean underwear for a week.

It sucks when I feel like I am going NO where and there is no end in sight to that nothingness.

It sucks when my entire paycheck has vanished in a matter of days.

It sucks when I never see Justin and don't feel married.

It sucks when I don't want to go to church but I do anyways. (sometimes I will skip until I have to teach my primary lesson -I don't teach them about douches FYI, unless you consider Satan being a douche..cause he is).

It sucks when a blog post turns into one huge suck fest!

It should be called The Suck Post, but that could be taken the wrong way.

Well I am here to inform you that most of those things are true except for my life leading to nothingness. Wanna know why? Sure you do.

I feel a tiny sense of success in the far distant future because my life + photography is soaring in the right direction. One of my fine art photos made it into my colleges art show. There were 470 entries and only 100 made it. -Win.

The Krishna Temple that held the Festival of Colors bought one of my photos that I took last Saturday, I don't get any profit because I donated my photos which I am obviously fine with, but I feel a little pride that someone will be displaying my photo. -Win.

I am so glad that I have been jumping at the opportunity to network with other photographers. That I am entering competitions fearlessly and always looking for more.

I am finally growing into my own photographic style which was quite a hard struggle for me before.

If it wasn't spring time I would probably be more unhappy with my situation because winter has that effect sometimes. But, Spring is here and every flower makes me smile and happy to be alive.

I just keep thinking- "this is normal, everyone goes through this muck before they start to benefit from the fruit of their labors".

There is just a lot more that I need to work on like:
Church- I haven't been at my tip top lately. It's been real hard. I know the church is true, yadda, yadda. But, being faithful and following all of those commandments is hard. real hard.

Marriage- It doesn't feel as strong as it could be. Life is getting in the way.

Family- Where are you?

Fun- I know you're near!

I'm happy. I am. Because the happy outweighs the bad. But I need more happy. It's playing with me like a game of footsie. Hiding under the table, flirting with fun, but truly hasn't gotten there yet

Am I making any sense?


  1. Yeah, that makes sense - sometimes life is really hard! But it sounds like you've identified all the things you want to work on so that's good! :) I have a list going in my head for myself. Things will work out. First matter of business for you though, that smell sounds disgusting - take care of that first. lol. Next step, clean underwear. Then Church. There, I got you started. ;)

  2. yes, you make perfect sense hon. Satan the (douche) will be a constant factor not on team Val. Know you are stronger than him and you will win over his power-because you are better than he. You identify the probs and know how to fix them. I'm so proud of you for all you are accomplishing with your photography.


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